Something Scary In Honor Of Halloween

I was a child of the 80's, and for some reason my brain has retained a memory of nearly every commercial I viewed during that decade. Some of the best commercials of the 80's were classic anti-drug public service announcements. Everybody remembers "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?" Ohhh, sizzle, sizzle!

But fewer people seem to recall a spot that I have a vivid recollection of. I remember being about 9 or 10 when the ad was run, but more than that, I remember being frightened by it. It's not like I was a chronically scared kid either, as my Dad's patented form of "babysitting" consisted of sitting my brother and I down to watch C.H.U.D. and other horror movies of the same ilk. This particular PSA is actually scary, probably because the costume is really good. The spot consists of a drug dealer metamorphing into a scary humanoid snakeman thingy. See for yourself:

The flicking tongue is a great over-the-top touch. Yesssssssssss!

...Because Updating Your Blog Is A Good Reason To Take Homework Break

That's right, I should be studying for my Hospitality Management test right now, but the material is remarkably boring. So here's your daily dose of Gary!!!:

Gary is holding his favorite mammal, Wheezy, the cat.

My mom now has a blog (so far it is Gary-free, you'll have to stay here for you fix). The link has been added to the link list.

The Dig It List*: Korean food (yummy AND healthy), "Hold On Tight" by Electric Light Orchestra (yes, I realize it's old and in a commercial now, but I like the message: hold on tight to your dreams, ya'll!), reruns of "American Gladiators" (because people getting clobbered with giant Nerf boulders is still as poignant as it was twenty years ago). *Because I dig it!

Life List Item No. 90 Completed: Have A Paranormal Experience

Rory and I just got home from a night tour of the abandoned Waverly Hills Sanitarium, reputedly one of the most haunted locations in the U.S.

I'll admit I had high expectations for this life list item. The results were a little disappointing though, as I did not get to see a Sasquatch, aliens, or the Loch Ness monster.


Waverly Hills Sanitarium (for those who don't know) is a former tuberculosis hospital in Louisville, that was abandoned for 40 years. The new owners now run historical and paranormal tours through the place, and as they repeatedly pointed out: 63,000 tuberculosis patients died at Waverly Hills. Hence some people believe there are ghosts there.


Yes I did see some funny shadows in the building, but it seemed a lot more likely that they were natural events and not tuberculosis patient spirits. Another thing that marred my experience is the fact that GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL!!! I guess you engineer once, and approach everything like a scientist for life. So this will probably be the closest I ever get to the paranormal, thus off the list it goes.


Also, the tour was not scary, despite however many incidental stories the tour guide laid on us. Our chances of ghost sightings were also hampered by a gaggle of 14 year old girls who kept repeating "Like, oh my God, I'm like, SOOO scared!". Ghosts, like myself, hate it when people keep repeating information that is obvious to everyone, especially if it is stated in a shrill pre-pubescent octave.



The body chute was pretty neat. It's a roughly 5oo foot tunnel that goes downhill from the building. Corpses were discretely wheeled out of the building using the chute. The chute goes down on about a 45 degree angle, so the walk back up is tough. Back in the day, there was even a cable system in place, for more efficient shunting of bodies down the chute.


There used to be a hospital out building at the end of the chute; today there is only a grassy knoll. This of course led the gaggle to (loudly) repeat, "So, like, they just piled the bodies up out here?!?"


All in all, an interesting experience, but it didn't change my life. So, like, here are some more pictures, like, you know?

P.S. Shout out to Grandma G and Mom who are spending the week in Texas together.

The Proper Care And Feeding of a Gary

Apparently my last post ignited a firestorm of debate amongst my native Louisville contingent of regular blog readers (yes, all 4 of them). Many hours were wasted asking the fundamental questions: "Who is this hairy-armed enigma called Gary?", "Does Gary mean us harm?", and "Should we start a preemptive war with Gary, if it means we'll get cheaper prices at the pumps?".

I intend to answer this question.

Louisville, brace yourself:

I'm like the Dian Fossey of Gary's. I have a dad Gary, a father-in-law Gary, a best friend with a dad named Gary, a former roommate with a dad Gary, a co-worker named Gary, AND I have driven through Gary, Indiana. From my studies, all I can tell you is the following: Gary's are gentle by nature, but they can become agitated and aggressive when startled (for further evidence, see Gary Busey). If a Gary begins to charge at you, grab some large branches and begin waving them and making loud noises. This will make you look larger, and Gary's are not inclined to attack animals that they perceive to be larger than themselves.