This past week, I had an entire week off between a very trying summer semester and jumping into a just as daunting fall semester. Needless to say, on my break I wanted to do something purely entertaining and thoroughly mindless. Luckily, Kentucky had the perfect destination to soothe my battered brain: Cave City.
Cave City is about an hour south of Louisville, and is notable for having the most extensive cave system on earth (aptly named Mammoth Cave). However, I would argue it should be more notable for having the world's most extensive system of tourist traps. The shear number and variety of roadside attractions is gape-inducing. The first cluster of attractions were so coated in fiberglass wonder; my steely reserve instantly melted into a slack-jawed stupor.
Yes, we went in the cave. No, I didn't care for the cave. All I could think about was being unceremoniously crushed by tons of limestone. And the fact that the cave is not installed with indoor plumbing. Something tells me the National Parks Service frowns mightily on the prospect of visitors crapping in their majestic cave. As I've said before, Rory's the nature lover in this duo; give me mystery spots, mini-golfs, giant fiberglass dinosaurs, and gleaming public bathrooms as far as the eye can see. And in that respect Cave City did not disappoint.
Cave City is also home to one of the last surviving "Wigwam Motels" in this nation (each "room" being a fully furnished tepee). We totally would have stayed here the night, if we hadn't had to get home to the terriers. None the less Rory drove by it so I could happily gawk.
Next stop was Big Mike's Mystery Spot (which of course featured the requisite large fiberglass dinosaur). When we went in to tour the mystery spot, we were politely informed that the spot was "closed for repairs". I guess the water-runs-uphill room was broken or something. Still, Big Mike had a big gift shop, practically brimming over with geodes and cheap novelties, so all was not lost.
My favorite attraction was hands down Dinosaur World. Dinosaur World was actually kind of heavy on the educational materials, unlike the now defunct Dinosaur Park back in Irish Hills, Michigan (I still remember it as having simian-looking cavemen gleefully roaming alongside dinosaurs - so much for historical accuracy). But it was also heavy on big freakin' statues. Perfect!
And this was only the tip of the iceberg as far as what this town had to offer. Numerous mini-golfs, a frontier town, a couple go-kart tracks, an Australia-themed petting zoo, water slides, bumper boats, tons of kitschy museums, and an alpine slide make Cave City well worth the drive.
