Things To Do Before You Die

Life List Item #116 Completed: Learn How to Play a Musical Instrument

2009-09-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

I started guitar lessons last week. I've never touched a guitar in my life, nor can I read sheet music. Other than a brief fling on the bass drum in junior high, I have no musical experience other than a zest for accumulating mp3's.

I have an acoustic guitar that I play right-handed.

I like it. The guitar instructor is an affable, long-haired, rocker-type of dude who is my age. The class includes one bored-looking young teenage boy, and two other women close to my age. We (the girls) immediately bonded.

So far, we have learned how to read tab and chord charts. We can play the major chords and are learning chord shifts to the minor chords.

According to Rocker Dude music instructor, I'll be able to play some songs by the Beatles and Rolling Stones by Christmas. I'm looking forward to that.

Life List Item #118 Completed: Learn How to Fire a Gun

2009-08-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

I enjoy learning the kind of stuff that spy's would need to know. I would say that scuba diving, card counting, and bar tending school all fall under the skill set that at least James Bond needs to have. However, firing a gun accurately is probably the most important skill for spy's both real and fake.

Being that it was my birthday this week, my husband knows that nothing delights his Leonine wife more than the slavish completion of any item written into a neatly organized list. So he signed me (never fired a weapon ever in my life) and himself (ex-military, intrepid deer hunter) up for gun and shooting lessons.

The lecture part of the class went over gun safety, handling, storage, and cleaning. Then came the practical part in the shooting range.

I don't know what it says about me, but I was a drop-dead natural markswoman. I'm talking bull's eyes every time at 15, 25, and 35 feet with a semi-automatic as well as single action and double action revolvers (all 22 caliber). My shooting was impressive enough that Rory and the instructor said I should really think about joining a shooting league. I definitely had fun; it would be something to consider if my fall school schedule allows me the time.

I think I was a good shot for these two reasons:

The instructor had just told us exactly what to do in the classroom portion, and the one thing I really excel at is being a professional student.
Not to knock the other women in the class, but they were all handling the guns like they were live rattlesnakes and flinching at every shot that went off. Now I'm not saying I'm some kind of tough-as-nails SOB, but the guns did not frighten me. At this point in my life, I've bungee jumped, walked away from a prestigious but soul-crushing career, and sold two houses at profit under horrible economic conditions. Many things in this life are more terrifying than the sound of a gunshot in the context of a gun range.

So who knows? Time permitting maybe I will work on becoming the next Annie Oakley.

For those in the Louisville metro area, I have to give props to Open Range gun range. The class we took was about 4 hours long, covered all things guns, and their facility was super clean, super modern, and super friendly (and they were NOT gun weirdos either). They also have a paintball arena. I highly recommend this range if you are just looking to do target shooting, and the class is terrific particularly for women or people looking for a refresher. You can visit their website here: http://www.openrangesports.com/

Life List Item #14 Completed: Visit San Francisco

2009-08-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

San Francisco is now officially my favorite American city (and I've already been to the Big Apple, the Big Easy, the Windy City, the Motor City, and several others).

Here are some city highlights from our recent trip:

Touring Alcatraz and it's surrounding gardens
Strolling around Haight-Ashbury
Getting a great work out just by walking up and down San Fran's monster hills
Hanging out at Golden Gate Park
Checking out the sea lions at Pier 39
Eating fried shrimp at Fisherman's Wharf
Window shopping around Union Square
Navigating public transit
Fantasizing about owning one of the cute and oh-so-San-Francisco homes (see bellow)

Life List Item #48 Completed: Eat at Chez Panisse in Berkeley, California

2009-07-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

Chez Panisse and it's co-founder, Alice Waters, are associated with the creation of California cuisine. This type of cuisine is marked by a strong emphasis on presentation and the use of the freshest, organic, local food available. The restaurant is located in Berkeley, CA, which as a city has a reputation for liberalism and a sort of low-key hippie aesthetic.

I wouldn't recommend Chez Panisse for the service (and before you protest, I'm not saying the service is bad). It's just that the previously mentioned hippie aesthetic shines through at this restaurant. Although the restaurant is serving up a fine dining prix fixe menu, the casual attitude underlying the service was very obvious to me. Jackets are not required for men, and a few patrons were even wearing jeans. And I'm saying all this as a terrible food snob; if you choose to eat here, this little nuance will probably go totally unnoticed.

That all being said, the food itself was outstanding. The waitstaff was very knowledgeable about exactly when and where everything on the plate had come from. I can honestly say that I had the best tomatoes and the best duck breast I've ever eaten in my life here. For fine dining, the portions were generous, and the presentation immaculate. I also must mention that we probably had the best table in the house, which overlooks the main drag in Berkeley.

If you're looking for an even more casual (and cheaper) meal, Chez Panisse also features an upstairs cafe that just serves entrees.

One cute thing they do at the restaurant is to print up the days menu on nice paper, which you get to take as a souvenir when you leave. Here's mine:

Aperitif

***

Heirloom tomato salad with sheep's milk ricotta and green olive toast

***

Pan-seared sea scallops with corn and basil

***

Spiced Sonoma Liberty duck breast with apricot chutney, haricot verts, and fresh flageolet beans

***

Rose-scented meringue with raspberry ice cream and summer berries

Life List Item #49 Completed: Drink Wine in Napa

2009-07-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

Napa Valley in California is widely considered one of the best wine producing regions in the United States. If you ever had Beringer or Robert Mondavi wine, then you were drinking Napa grapes.

Today more than 700 different wineries populate the valley, and many of them are open to the public for tours and tastings.

We spent the better part of the day at Domaine Carneros Tattinger, where they mainly produce sparkling wines and Pinot Noir. After a leisurely lunch of locally made cheese, pistachios, and fruit, we took the two hour tasting tour where you stroll around the grounds and facilities with a glass of Champagne in hand. The tour was interesting and fun, and the wine tastings were generous portions (we each got 2 full glass of champagne, along with tastings of 3 different red wines). We had an awesome tour guide, who clearly loved his job (I'd love a job where I got to drink and talk about wine all day).

Even if you're not a wine snob, I would recommend a visit to Napa Valley. What's more relaxing than sitting in the perfect California sunshine in front of a wine chateau?

And here's an interesting Wikipedia fun fact about Napa Valley: "Almost 4.7 million people visit Napa Valley each year, making it the second most popular tourist destination in California, second only to Disneyland." I'll take Napa over Disneyland any day; people in giant rat costumes creep me out.

Life List Item #15 Completed: Drive Down the Pacific Highway

2009-07-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Highway 1, also known as the Pacific Highway in California, is some of the most scenic driving one can do in the U.S. Switchback turns let you view the mighty Pacific Ocean on one side, and mountains and redwoods on the other.

In my experience, the natural beauty was awe-inspiring. We got on the highway at about 5:30 AM, which was just in time to watch the sun rising over the ocean. Deer were plentiful on the ocean side cliffs and mountains. Sea lions were basking on jutting rocks and beaches. We got on Highway 1 at Cambria and headed north towards Monterey. This was an enjoyable drive of several hours (although the highway is posted 55 mph throughout, many of the curves are 25 to 30 mph since they're so sharp).

If you decide to make this drive yourself, allow plenty of time and gas up before you get on the highway. Most of this section is through National Park areas. There are NO gas stations, rest areas, restaurants, or vending machines. It's just pure nature with a road running through it. I would recommend bringing a camera; there are plentiful "vista" turn-offs on the ocean side for gorgeous photo ops. Also bring your car charger and Ipod loaded up with great driving music; that's really all you need.

Life List Item #16 Completed: Surf in the Pacific Ocean

2009-07-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

On our recent vacation to San Francisco, my husband and I went to surf school. Here's some thoughts:

Surfing looks a lot easier than it actually is. I would liken standing up on a surf board to the experience of learning to ride a bike. Most people fall off the board repeatedly for the first hour or so, but once you stand up and ride the first time it's a piece of cake.

Surfing is fantastic exercise. Paddling your board out against the tide to get into wave riding position will force you to work muscles you didn't know you had. The following morning my arm, shoulder, and upper back muscles were burning. I've always been more of a stairmaster/ treadmill workout kind of girl, so this was a pretty new feeling for me.

Surfing is highly addicting. While we were surfing, a curious sea lion swam over and poked it's head up to check on what we were doing. Groups of friends were surfing together; families were surfing together. One day at Linda Mar Beach and I'm hooked on the prospect of surfing in Hawaii and Australia.

Hang ten, dude!

Life List Item #3 Completed: Bet $50 on Black at the Roulette Table in Vegas

2009-07-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm a pretty crappy gambler. I don't know how to play poker, craps, blackjack, or football squares. The extent of my gambling experience lies in consistently picking losing horses in the Kentucky Derby and a lifetime total of about $20 in slot machines.

However, I am pretty good at math, and statistically speaking you have no better odds in a casino then betting simply on either red or black at the roulette wheel.

So this past weekend in Las Vegas, in a fumbling and awkward fashion, I proceeded to place the biggest bet of my life in front of an audience of hardened, half-annoyed/half-amused, experienced gamblers.

I'm happy to say that beginner's luck does exist.

And since, as I stated, I'm a pretty crappy gambler, I immediately cashed in my chips and strolled out of the casino with a crisp hundie in hand.

Other Things To Do In Chicago Before You Die

2009-06-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

1) The Museum of Science and Industry

You could easily spend an entire day at this museum and not see everything. However, if you could only do one thing there, you must see the U-505 German submarine.

The captured WWII sub has been on permanent exhibition at the museum for over 50 years. The sub used to sit outside the museum and you would take a brief tour through the interior by going out a covered walkway straight into the sub. You really didn't get a grasp of how large the ship was because you really only saw the exterior when you were driving up to the museum.

In the late 90's, museum curators noticed that brutal Chicago winters were destroying the hull of the sub, and in 2004 a major renovation and relocation project were undertaken to move the sub to the other side of the building and place it in a covered, bunker style exhibit space.

The new space is amazing. The story of how the sub was captured, what became of the prisoners, and how the sub was brought to Chicago are all fascinating. But I guess the engineer in me was most riveted by this:

How they got the sub into it's new permanent home:

2) Shedd Aquarium

This place is like an aquarium on steroids. Even without the sea life, the building itself is gorgeous and blends classic and contemporary architectural styles into a structure nestled right up against Lake Michigan. The exhibits are world class and feature sharks, dolphins, sea lions, and my favorite the beluga whales. To really make it a day, when you finish at Shedd's, go over to the Field Museum next door to see Sue, the world's largest and most complete T. Rex skeleton.

3) The Navy Pier

You can enjoy the Navy Pier without spending a dime (although if you want to spend it's pretty easy as this venue features tons of restaurants, bars, shopping, and boat tours). Walking casually along the pier will give you great views of the city, Lake Michigan, and of course, people watching. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, the Navy Pier also hosts free fireworks every Wednesday and Saturday night.

4) The Hancock Observatory

I've been to the top of the Sears Tower and it's no great shakes. You pay $15, they whisk you up to the Skydeck and on most days the view is obscured by cloud cover. That's it folks.

For the same price you can do the Hancock Observatory (the Hancock Building is the other black skyscraper with two distinctive white antennas on Chicago's skyline - you can see it in the photo above behind the Ferris Wheel). The Hancock Building's observation deck also features a nice little museum of Chicago history, and since the building is not as tall as the Sears Tower, the view is not obstructed by clouds.

Life List Item #53 Completed: Eat at the Superdawg in Chicago, IL

2009-06-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

The Superdawg in Chicago is one of the few original carhop restaurants still operating in the United States. It was opened in 1948 by Maurie and Flaurie Berman, who still run it today with the help of their children. For just being a little hot dog stand, the Superdawg boasts enough distinctive features to make it a favorite with locals and tourists alike.

It all starts when you drive up and feast your eyes upon the anthropomorphic hot dogs standing on top of the restaurant. I've said it here before, and I'll say it again; I am a sucker for giant, fiberglass statues of anything. If you have 8 foot tall fiberglass people-weenies gracing your building, I'm like a moth to a flame. I have to eat there.

The restaurant itself does not appear to have changed much since the 1950's, and still retains the metal ordering boxes to order from your car.

We actually ate at the Superdawg twice while in Chicago, and both times it was packed with locals and tourists alike. The food is tasty, inexpensive, and distinctively packaged. Your hamburger or hot dog comes snuggled in a little box with crinkle-cut french fries, a pickle, hot peppers, and a unique-to-Superdawg pickled green tomato (pictured here is the "Whoopercheesie" double cheeseburger on dark rye bread).

I highly recommend the milkshakes! One Superdawg nestled in french fries will run you $4.95, and in Chicago, you're not going to get a slice of Americana any cheaper than that. The Superdawg is a fun, nostalgic, and economic must do in Chicago!
For more Superdawg: http://www.superdawg.com/default.cfm
For a laugh, click on "FAQs", then go to the video of Maurie discussing why ketchup is not included on a Superdawg with everything.

Life List Item #52 Completed: Eat at Charlie Trotter's in Chicago, IL

2009-06-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

Charlie Trotter's is regarded as one of the best restaurants in the world. As a restaurant, they set the standard for fine dining and service, and they have an award-winning record to back it up (http://www.charlietrotters.com/restaurant/).

Charlie Trotter the chef has appeared on many PBS cooking shows, authored over a dozen cookbooks, and is well known around Chicago for his involvement in community outreach and philanthropic activities. His culinary philosophy revolves around using fresh, healthful, and organic ingredients to create balanced and visually striking food. His sauces are made by and large out of fruits and vegetables. You don't see a lot of cheese or cream-based items on his menu. I would say the emphasis is definitely on healthful fine dining.

All that being said, eating at his restaurant was high on my life to-do-list.

Before I get to the food, let me just say that the service by the waitstaff was bar none. You want to feel like royalty the moment you walk in the door? Go here. We got the best table in the house (it's upstairs and overlooks the entrance to the foyer), just because I asked the maitre'd for it. The waitstaff at this restaurant are all salaried and it shows. They know the menu and the wine list (which is ridiculously extensive) inside and out.

But you probably want to know about the food. Trotter's doesn't do the ho-hum pick an entree and maybe an appetizer style of service. You pick one of two 8 course tasting menus for a three hour dining "experience". If one of the courses doesn't sound appealing to you, you can pick a different protein and the kitchen will invent something completely different for you (for example, I did not wish to have the eel course, so I asked the waiter to have them make me something with quail instead, and presto, it was so).

Rory and I both got the Grand tasting menu:

Effingham Oyster with Wasabi & Nori
Steamed Freshwater Japanese Eel with Cilantro, Roasted Banana & Soy

Scottish Salmon Confit with Rose & Black Tea

Roasted Duck Breast with Kumquats, Wild Licorice, Szechuan Peppercorns & Duck Gizzards

Salt-Crusted Veal Loin with Oregon Morel Mushrooms, Fermented Black Garlic & Thyme

Red Shiso Sorbet with Mango & Grains of Paradise

Poached Quince with Sesame Ice Cream & Rosemary Shortbread

Oloroso Sherry-Raisin Ice Cream with Chocolate Cotton Cake, Dried Plums & Ennis Hazelnuts

The food was AMAZING. I didn't have the cake for the last course, so instead they made me something that involved ice cream, cherries, dark chocolate, and olive oil that was completely incredible.

Before we left, we got to tour the kitchen (which was immaculate), and meet the chef himself:

That's Charlie Trotter, me looking bombed (I only had two glasses of super expensive wine with dinner!), the kitchen manager, and Rory (looking full and happy).

Chef Trotter naturally enquired about what brought us to Chicago. I got to share my own food-based educational pursuits and the fact that I was rushing back to Louisville to blog about eating in his restaurant. So, being a great marketer as well as being a great chef, he then gave me 3 hardcover cookbooks he has written about healthful cooking!!! Freakin' awesome! Charlie Trotter is officially at the top of my celebrity chef pantheon.

I highly recommend doing this before you die!

Life List Item #90 Completed: Have A Plan B

2009-05-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

It occurs to me as I make preparations to move to Lexington to start my doctoral degree at UK this fall that I'm on Plan C or Plan D at this point. Afterall, if I was still on Plan A, right this moment I would probably be inspecting some crumbling bridge in some miserable part of Detroit while being leered at by some furious and psychotic commuters / usually harmless but possibly psychotic homeless bridge dwellers / large and definitely psychotic construction formen.

I like it when I complete a life list item without even realizing I've done it!

Life List Item #120 Started: Get My Doctorate

2009-03-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

I just got my notice that I have been accepted to the doctoral program I applied for at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, KY. My PhD program is Biochemical and Molecular Biology of Nutrition, and falls under the blanket of their medical school. I'm still waiting to hear back from University #2 that I applied to, but one way or another I am now officially a doctoral candidate starting this fall.

Let the dissertation begin!

Oh, and if you feel a compelling need to call me Dr. Baker, I'm totally OK with that.

Life List Item #82 Completed: Learn 3 Card Tricks

2009-01-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

I never get tired of learning stuff, especially if the stuff in question pertains to a skill that a secret agent might possess (I have a scuba diving license, despite living smack dab in the middle of the Midwest). I had two days off in between taking the GRE and starting spring semester, but that was all the time I needed to learn a handful of card tricks with which to amaze / rip-off my friends.

At this point, I can do the easiest version of "Was THIS your card?". More importantly, I can count cards using a short count or a long count. This isn't MIT-nerds-in-Vegas style card counting by any means. This count involves me dealing the cards and either shorting or extending the deck based on what the particular card game demands. Not quite James Bond I know, but I only had two days!

I'm not going to tell you how I do my tricks (as an impoverished grad student I may be forced to bilk you out of money). However, this video demonstrates two of the classic tenets of card tricks. You'll notice this guys movements are quick and practiced; the trick doesn't work if you're fumbling. Secondly, he snaps the cards hard, which is one of the classic misdirects; the noise and his patter distracts you from what his hands are doing.

LIFE LIST UPDATE: This item brings me up to 41 of 124 items completed. That's over 33% - not bad by age 30!

You Say You Want A Resolution

2009-01-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

Sure, you could lose some weight. Quit smoking maybe. Read "War and Peace" from cover to cover.

Mine's pretty simple: Stop and smell the roses.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

I am on a blissful four week break from school, and the only tedious chore in front of me is studying for the GRE which I take January 9th.

I'm looking forward to visiting my sister-in-law in Grand Rapids for Christmas, where it is almost wholly her problem to worry about feeding people and having a clean house. All I have to do is make the homemade cranberry sauce and the dessert.

Here's some holiday funny - it's the classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special meets some Stanley Kubrick style direction (WARNING: this clip features some pretty fluent and creative use of swear words, so if you offend easily this is probably not for you).

Vote

2008-11-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

Hands down, this is the best political ad I've ever seen. It's a parody of the 2000 Anheuser-Busch "Wassup" commercial. My favorite part is where they incorporate the Hurricane Katrina guy.

GO, OBAMA, GO!

Checkmate

2008-10-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not 100% intellectual. I find chess horribly boring (we're a Scrabble family, thank you very much). But I think I could get into it if it were more like this....

Sick and Tired

2008-10-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile. I've been very sick for about 3 months now. After a couple of doctors and numerous appointments I now know I have a really bad stomach infection. I'm finally getting the medicines I need and I'm on my way to a full and complete recovery.

However, this whole experience has taught me quite a bit about the American health care experience. Three months ago I would not have believed that an insured somebody in America could walk around for months undiagnosed and untreated. I thought that happened in Africa. But when it takes 3 weeks for the specialist to fit you in, and 4 weeks for the anesthesiologist to fit you in, well you can just savor your chronic nausea and gripping abdominal cramps for a while.

Some other observations:

Each doctor spent an average of 3 minutes talking to/interrupting me.
Over the course of figuring out what I really had, I was told I might have three other diseases. Theses other diseases were told to me in purely clinical terms, so that I could go home and look them up on WebMD/Wikipedia for myself. I was never told why I might have gotten these diseases, how I might gain some temporary relief from symptoms, or what a lifetime of having "X" disease was going to entail. Instead, around the 2:45 minute mark, each doctor would announce "It sounds like you have "X" disease", write out a prescription, and then promptly scurry out of the room.
Each visit charged insurance about $200.
When you are sick, your insurance provider will become worse than any bill collector/stalker ex-girlfriend you have ever had. Our insurance provider started a massive phone and mail campaign to me and my husband, demanding to know why this full time college student didn't have any other insurance provider to bill. At one point, they denied all the charges for one of my appointments. When my husband called to question this, our insurance provider told him that I "had called and cancelled my coverage." I am not making this up. They resorted to outright lying to try to avoid paying benefits.

What kills me is that my husband works for the largest hospital in our city. We are not uninsured. We pay for the best health insurance package his employer offers. And what does the best get you: indifferent, cold doctors / harassing, parasitic insurance companies. And for all this, I still can't imagine the horror of going through something like this with NO INSURANCE. We would be bankrupt by now.

I'm no Michael Moore lover, and I don't think he knows what's best for this country. But he does have a point: health care is a joke in this country. And the last laugh is, as usual, on you the consumer.

I know what single issue I'm voting on in two weeks.

Life List Item #118 Completed: Give Up Television And The Internet For One Week

2008-09-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

This is the first non consensual life list item I've completed.

So, did you know Louisville, Kentucky gets hurricanes? I sure didn't, that is until last Sunday when the remnants of Hurricane Ike pounded our city with reported 75 mph winds. The four hour storm caused plenty of damage and knocked out power to over half the cities' residents.

We were in the half with no power, and remained so, until late last night. So if you're counting with me, that's six full days without power (I was sleeping when the power came back on, so it's only been within the last few hours I've had the chance to start greedily sucking up my share of energy).

Here's a synopsis of my media free week:
Day 1: The storm rages, and power is knocked out early in the day. I'm not too worried, since any time the power has gone out before, it's always been fixed within 12 hours.
Day 2: College classes are cancelled, so I'm off. And lucky so, since I'm now getting a better picture of how long this outage is going to last. Me and Rory wait in a line to buy gas, wait in a line to buy ice, wait in a line to buy a cooler, wait in a line to use an ATM, and wait in a line to get fast food. The people in the fast food line are the angriest. Later that night, I get to study organic chemistry by candlelight (not recommended).
Day 3: I think this was the first day I missed television. Rory was still pretty engrossed by the idea of grilling all of our soon to perish freezer stock, so I don't think he missed it yet.
Day 4: OK, getting a little frustrated here. At this point, I could care less about the internet or television; all I want more than anything in the world is an endless supply of ice cold drinks.
Day 5: I'm vaguely aware that our country is in the throes of yet another economic crisis, because I hear the NPR announcer wailing about it when I run out to charge my cell phone on the car charger. Rory is tired of eating grilled meat.
Day 6: I'm getting angry, and my clothes smell bad.
Day 7: Hallelujah! Like Santa Claus, the shadowy LG&E repairmen have appeared in the night and bestowed warmth and good cheer to our entire street!

And now hours later, sitting in my air conditioned cocoon, reading tabloid trash online, getting ready to dive into a week's worth of unwatched Netflix.... I'm almost ready to start taking it for granted all over again.

Life List Item #77 Completed: Keep Regular Medical Appointments

2008-09-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it. I don't like going to the doctor or the dentist. I'd rather have symptoms drag out for a month, if it means putting off understanding the terms of my health insurance coverage and then completing the daunting task of actually finding a decent in-plan doctor or dentist.

It's not that I'm lazy per se, just that I've never seen the payoff as all that great. Think about it, you go through the tedium of finding someone to treat you, and the reward is to have them poke, prod, and drill you, potentially while you're not wearing half your clothes and answering a series of embarrassing questions.

Well no more. This past year I've kept every check up.

I think what's turned it around for me is the dentist we go to here in Louisville. When I was a teenager, my Mom started dragging us to this horrid family dentist. My beef with this guy is that he would start by wedging about half of his dental instruments into your gaping maw, and THEN proceed to ask roughly 2 billion open-ended questions about school, sports, the weather, current events, the origins of the universe, the duality of man, the existence of Sasquatch, etc., etc., etc.! It was ridiculous, and a total power play by this sadistic dentist. "So, could you tell me in 800 words or more, what your position on abortion is?" "Gnf thuk mool phoo..."

I love my new dentist. I honestly think he doesn't even know my name. He comes in with a perfunctory "How are you doing today?", waits for my perfunctory "Fine.", then sits down and (SILENTLY) gets to business. Just the way I like it.

Things To Do Around Louisville Before You Die

2008-08-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

This past week, I had an entire week off between a very trying summer semester and jumping into a just as daunting fall semester. Needless to say, on my break I wanted to do something purely entertaining and thoroughly mindless. Luckily, Kentucky had the perfect destination to soothe my battered brain: Cave City.

Cave City is about an hour south of Louisville, and is notable for having the most extensive cave system on earth (aptly named Mammoth Cave). However, I would argue it should be more notable for having the world's most extensive system of tourist traps. The shear number and variety of roadside attractions is gape-inducing. The first cluster of attractions were so coated in fiberglass wonder; my steely reserve instantly melted into a slack-jawed stupor.

Yes, we went in the cave. No, I didn't care for the cave. All I could think about was being unceremoniously crushed by tons of limestone. And the fact that the cave is not installed with indoor plumbing. Something tells me the National Parks Service frowns mightily on the prospect of visitors crapping in their majestic cave. As I've said before, Rory's the nature lover in this duo; give me mystery spots, mini-golfs, giant fiberglass dinosaurs, and gleaming public bathrooms as far as the eye can see. And in that respect Cave City did not disappoint.

Cave City is also home to one of the last surviving "Wigwam Motels" in this nation (each "room" being a fully furnished tepee). We totally would have stayed here the night, if we hadn't had to get home to the terriers. None the less Rory drove by it so I could happily gawk.

Next stop was Big Mike's Mystery Spot (which of course featured the requisite large fiberglass dinosaur). When we went in to tour the mystery spot, we were politely informed that the spot was "closed for repairs". I guess the water-runs-uphill room was broken or something. Still, Big Mike had a big gift shop, practically brimming over with geodes and cheap novelties, so all was not lost.

My favorite attraction was hands down Dinosaur World. Dinosaur World was actually kind of heavy on the educational materials, unlike the now defunct Dinosaur Park back in Irish Hills, Michigan (I still remember it as having simian-looking cavemen gleefully roaming alongside dinosaurs - so much for historical accuracy). But it was also heavy on big freakin' statues. Perfect!

And this was only the tip of the iceberg as far as what this town had to offer. Numerous mini-golfs, a frontier town, a couple go-kart tracks, an Australia-themed petting zoo, water slides, bumper boats, tons of kitschy museums, and an alpine slide make Cave City well worth the drive.

Sunny Days...

2008-08-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

I am studying for finals this week, and don't have a lot of time to post. However, for whatever reason lately I have accumulated several "Sesame Street" themed funny videos in my inbox. I'll post them now for your amusement, instead of studying.

Incidentally, Oscar the Grouch was always my favorite character. Oscar always played it straight, whether it was telling you he hated your new haircut, or just to let you know that he loved trash. You'd never get that kind of honesty out of Big Bird.

Bert and Ernie, Detroit-style...

An orange sings from "Carmen", classic stop-motion animation from Sesame Street that I remember finding riveting as a six year old (God bless, Jim Henson)

And to round it out here's a version of Sesame Street from my generation's Richard Pryor, the one and only Dave Chappelle...

Breaking Nutrition News

2008-07-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

When I'm too busy with classes (as I am now, I DREAM about advanced chemistry), it's a lot easier for me to just slap a funny video up here.

This video gets bonus points because Yum! Brand is a local, Louisville based company. My favorite line from this is "Sometimes I just don't feel like moving my arms."

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Punk'd - Ashton Kutcher + Babies = Darn Funny

2008-06-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Life List Item #103 Completed: Know How To Make (At Least) A Three-Tiered Wedding Cake

2008-06-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

Our old Michigan friend Eric got married to our new Michigan friend Meghan over Memorial Day weekend. I got to make their cake.

I had made a little two-tiered cake while at Sullivan, but this is now the biggest and the baddest of the cakes I have made. The structural support is pretty intuitive, and basically if you can do two-tiers, I think you can figure out how to do as many more as you want after that.

Eric and Meghan's cake consisted of two raspberry filled chocolate layers, and a pastry cream filled white cake layer. All of it got coated in white butter cream (because fondant tastes gross! You heard it here first - only Europeans like eating fondant covered cakes).

The finishing touches were some little sugar paste lily bud sprays, wrapped in ribbon.

Without further ado...

Everybody said it tasted good, which is the most important thing, because if it doesn't that's all anybody remembers.

Besides the cake, it was a beautiful ceremony with perfect weather, and a jumpin' reception.

While in Michigan for the wedding, Rory and I took advantage of proximity to visit his sister, brother-in-law, and parents in Grand Rapids. We had an awesome weekend. The highlight for me was when we got to go shopping at my hands-down, all time favorite grocery store, Horrock's.

Horrock's is a chain of grocery stores in Michigan who specialize in really amazing, fresh, cheap produce, really good cheese, and even better wine. If it weren't for the pellagra, I think I could live on just those 3 food groups. Seriously, if you live in Michigan and you've never been to Horrock's, you're missing out on a real face-stuffing gem.

What Teachers Make

2008-05-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

Something my Mom sent me awhile ago, but I like it and you should like it too (diatribe by teacher Taylor Mali)!

Life List Item #101 Completed: Do Something With My Hair

2008-05-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

I've had some crappy luck this week. In the grand scheme of Myanmar, China earthquakes, and people that are choosing between a gallon of gas or a gallon of milk, my problems are all pretty small time, just frustrating.

It started with a minor car accident last week (which was my fault, although I was not ticketed), followed by a flat-busted television set (totally unwatchable, and unlike most Americans it is the only set we own), culminating in a violent allergic reaction to some type of satanic Kentucky plant that left one of my eyes swollen shut and hives up my face and neck. I was just going for a hike!!

The day I had the car accident, I was actually on my way to get my haircut at a nice salon, something I haven't done in probably 5 years. The accident turned this competent, confident, go-getter into a wailing, helpless mess. The other car was barely dented, while my front end was crushed in and vomiting radiator fluid all over the street. Rory was the only person I called, and within minutes he had handled the insurance issues, got a tow truck, called the collision place, and arrived on the scene to pick me up. Once the car had been towed, he turned to me, and in his best soothing nurse's voice said "I know you're pretty upset right now. But why don't we go and get you that haircut anyways? I bet it'll make you feel a lot better."

And you know what? It did. I guess the moral of this story is a great haircut and a great husband can improve any situation. This morning I got up to see the aftermath of my reaction to the wilds of Kentucky. My face looks like I've been in a bar brawl, with a bruised eye and scratches on my face and neck. But damn, if my hair didn't look perfect - and that was after crawling out of bed! Life is good.

Happy Memorial Day

2008-05-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

Star Spangled Banner | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Life List Item #109 Completed: Go To A Drive-In

2008-05-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

I LOVE roadside attractions. I will make Rory drive 20 miles out of our way if it means we might get to see a good mystery spot or play 18 holes of Biblical mini-golf. If I have my choice of two routes, I'll take the longer of the two if it passes a large fiberglass eyesore of any type (the route I currently take to school takes me right by these two eyesores, "the world's largest bats", TWICE... on the way there and back).

But despite this love affair with kitschy Americana, I've never been to a drive-in. That all changed last night, when Rory and I crossed the river to go to the drive-in theater in Georgetown, Indiana.

We saw "Ironman" which was OK, but the movie could not compete with the festive atmosphere. We had an absolute blast. I enjoyed being able to mock the movie out loud in the privacy of the Jeep, and I liked that I got to bring my own blanket. I'm always cold, so any activity that encourages you to bring your own blanket is alright with me.

We got there early, and there was definitely a fun, family picnic-type vibe. Getting there early also gave us an opportunity to peruse the snack bar at length, and this topic nearly deserves a separate posting of it's own. Rory and I normally eat really healthy (hello, grad-school degree in Nutrition), but sometimes you just see something in your travels that at least in the name of science demands to be tried. So here are our picks of the exceptional: the chili dog, the deep-fried Twinkie, and the deep-fried Snickers bar.

The chili dog in and of itself was not exceptional, until I noticed that you applied the chili yourself out of this big pump that probably hasn't been cleaned in the last ten years. I myself didn't eat this item, so you'll have to email Rory for a final verdict.

Next up, deep-fried Twinkie vs. deep-fried Snickers bar. Both items were coated in a batter and served up on a stick a la fair food, but the Twinkie was the definitive winner in this culinary smack down. The cakelike texture of the Twinkie allowed it to absorb far more delicious trans fats than the weak Snickers bars, which just got all melty and nasty looking. Rory also gave props to the Twinkies "toasted marshmallow kind of flavor", but to me it tasted like a really greasy donut. At any rate, I'm not the sweets eater in this marriage, so I did the curiosity bites and Rory dispatched with the rest.

All in all, it was a great time and we will probably go again. A really good value too at $8 per person for a double feature.

And while I'm on my Americana theme, I'll recommend one of my favorite websites: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/ . Even if shoe trees, giant messiahs, and funny water towers don't blow your skirt up, this is a highly entertaining and well documented site.

And while I was uploading my drive-in pics, I found these old, but funny Homer pictures. He's a good little dog, but also a weird little dog as one of his favorite things is to be held like a baby...

Another Semester Ends... :)

2008-05-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

Which means I am on vacation, sort of, until June 11 when summer classes start (then I get to go to chemistry classes for 6 hours a day, 4 days a week).

In the meantime, I intend to catch up on my Netflix, catch up on my book list, go to Michigan (briefly, at the end of the month), clean our Boston terrier-infested house, enjoy cooking stuff with my farmer's market finds, scratch off a couple life list items, and go with Rory to Huber's in Indiana to pick long beans and blackberries (our new 4th of July tradition).

And now, since I'm feeling too lazy to write more, I'll just post something I find amusing: "The Shawshank Redemption In Under A Minute":

Shawshank in a Minute | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Be More Empowered

2008-04-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

This is a commercial that still airs fairly regularly on PBS (and yes, I enjoy watching PBS, especially the cooking shows - Jacques Pepin is a GOD). The ending still gets me every time...

Graduation Day

2008-04-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

This morning was my graduation day from Sullivan University. I graduated summa cum laude, was the recipient of the President's cup (which is this big trophy they hand you on stage for being an uber-nerd with really high grades), and I was the second! person out of about 600 to cross the stage. This was terrifying in that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, having not watched anybody else. But it all worked out in the end, and I'm glad I got to go before the whole audience got restless.
Our commencement speaker was John Yarmuth, who is are local congressman. Personally, I found this somewhat funny, since the chancellor of Sullivan was a vocal supporter of his opponent in that last election, but I guess that's what makes you an effective politician. His speech was about good times versus bad times, and focused heavily on current economic news and public sentiment. The theme of his speech was how the personal responsibility and hard work of graduates like us is the key to more "good times" (which I was not really expecting, since our congressman is a Democrat. I really thought he was going to say Barack Obama would forgive all our college loans if we vote for him in the fall). It was a good speech.

So what am I going to do now that I've graduated, you might ask? Good question. In the immediate future, not terribly much, since I'm also still working towards my other degree. But I will share with you some of the things I got out of this experience:

The opportunity to teach. First and foremost, this was the best thing they did for me (and since it was an invitation to the position, not something I applied for, I owe them that much more). Did you ever walk into your dream home, or meet the person you were destined to marry and have that gut feeling of everything being right in your world? Well, that's me teaching at the college level. That's where I fit, that's what I'm supposed to do. Thanks for the focus and the clarity.
A ridiculously broad knowledge of food and cooking. Want to know what balsamic vinegar's made out of? How about the difference between Thai and Indian curries? Need to know what temperature to bake that at? I do, and could probably eke out a dissertation if my life depended on it.
The chance to learn from some great teachers. Some of the notables: Chef Dodd, whom I feared, yet learned the most from. Chef Payne, the one I respected the most. Chef Engle, still my favorite because he was the nicest.

That being said, I don't think I'm going to stop at a Master's in Nutrition. I think I'm getting on the PhD train. This would give me the most leverage in teaching at the college level and all of you would have to call me Doctor Baker (after all, I didn't go to eight years of food/cooking/nutrition school just to have you call me Mrs. Baker. Kind of makes me wish I had married someone with the last name Food, so I could be "Doctor Food".). So with any luck, Sullivan I'll see you again, but from the other side of the classroom.

P.S. Thanks Rory for all your love and support, for coming with me today, and always encouraging me to go for my dreams. I never would have been here without you. You'll always be the best part of the journey and the destination.

One Degree Down, One To Go...

2008-03-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

I am all finished with my culinary degree from Sullivan. I graduate Summa Cum Laude on April 12, which also happens to be the same day as Thunder Over Louisville (which I will be attending this year!).
I'll miss going to Sullivan (it's fun), but now that I only have one school to go to I'm hoping to accelerate the Nutrition degree. I have two more semesters really heavy on organic chemistry and biochemistry, and then it's all nutrition.
Someday, I'll actually be finished with school and hopefully be in a good position to teach other aspiring chefs and food lovers. But until then, I'm enjoying the ride.
It would seem like I should be more effusive about the passing of this milestone, but it is 70, sunny, I worked all day, it's me and Rory's date night, and now me and Rory are going to drink some beers and shoot some pool at the sleazy bar near our house (I guess you can always tell when I plan the date).

Life List Item No. 67 Completed: See An Eclipse

2008-02-21T08:52:00.000-08:00

You may have heard that there was a lunar eclipse last night, where the earth moved between the sun and the full moon. Around 9 pm yesterday, myself, Rory, and two reluctant Bostons gathered outside on a very chilly night to view nature's spectacle.

My first impression of the event was this: I must watch entirely too much sci-fi and/or campy horror space movies. I say this because I honestly expected the whole eclipse to last about 5 minutes, like it would be this dramatic blotting out of the moon and don't blink lest you miss it. Not so! It's like 3 hours long from start to finish. You can take a bathroom break and not miss anything.

Secondly, the moon further shattered my overblown expectations by not blacking out completely. Instead it turned reddish (I'm sure for some very important scientific reason that I am way to lazy to look up right now).

Finally, the whole event just left me contemplating how amazing it all is really. It's remarkable that humans have the capacity to test, and learn, and theorize, and prove how the world around and beyond them works. That's awesome.

Things I Made At School This Week

2008-02-03T11:41:00.000-08:00

I love my baking class on Saturday's. Chef Turner is the best, since she let's me work on the more advanced cakes, for example:

Garde Manger's theme this week was gourmet appetizers, so I got to make (among other things) a sauteed foie gras appetizer. Foie gras is fattened duck liver that is now illegal to serve in Chicago due to the inhumane treatment of the duck (and please don't email me about animal rights because it is delicious!). Mine looked sort of like this, but I made a blueberry sauce to go with mine (and here you see the compromises made by a nutritionist/chef: pair an animal product that is approximately 98% fat with a fruit that is high in antioxidants):I also memorized about 30 different polyatomic ions for Chemistry this week, but I don't have any fun pictures to accompany that (ammonium ions, RULE, YEAH, WOO-HOO!!!).

All in all, I love what I'm learning right now (even the ionic stuff). I know not everybody sees an immediate connection between culinary school and a Master's in Nutrition, but I really think it's the wave of the future as far as this country is going. You have all these aging baby boomers, who are at the age for facing healthy lifestyle issues, but they've also been eating like typical Americans for the last 50 years. I see a huge demand for nutritious food that feels indulgent. You gotta love America, the land of having your cake and eating it too.

And I, ladies and gentleman, am just the chick to decorate that cake!

Weekend Plans

2008-01-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

Sadly, I can relate to this video. Getting older sucks.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b776c00c54

Life List Item No. 31 Completed: Try Truffles

2008-01-10T14:38:00.000-08:00

There's two different kinds of edible truffles; the little candy bon-bon forms, and then there's the stinky mucho expensive fungus from France or Italy. This posting deals with the latter.

One of the fringe benefits of going to culinary school is that I get to knock out most of the eating related life list items about every month or so. In my final quarter at Sullivan, one of my classes is Garde Manger Lab. In this class you learn a lot of the more advanced butchery techniques, classical and banquet preparations, and plate presentation. It's a lot of fun, but also I think it is one of the more challenging labs.

Falling under the category of butchery, this week our classes made pates (in my case, one made out of rabbits). So class, now that we each have a tube of what tastes like meat-flavored butter wrapped in bacon, what do we do next? We garnish it with more expensive food of course! The truffles came in a can (which I guess connoisseurs turn their noses up at). But at $68 for what was about an 8 oz. can, I don't see a lot of fresh truffle in my future. When the can was opened there was a distinctive "earthy" smell, and the truffles themselves resembled lumps of charcoal.

I would describe the taste as a mushroom on steroids. I mean there was definitely that meaty taste that all mushrooms have, but this was much more intensely so. It also tasted a lot more earthy and complex than your average porcini. All in all, a fun item to complete, but at these prices, hardly habit forming.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

I'll be perfectly honest with you - I'm just not all that excited about nature. I hate canoeing and mosquitoes, I dislike camping and snakes, and to me hiking is just walking with a bunch of trees and bushes in your way. My idea of "roughing it" is using the little bottles of 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner that they give you in the cheaper hotel chains. I think of a "good hike" as walking 10 blocks in Chicago because you don't feel like having weirdos breathe on you in the L. I prefer to get my nature while whizzing by it at 70 mph in my nice, comfy car, or having the wonder and beauty of it explained to me by glossy documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman (as an aside, I'd also like to state for the record that I HATE the Grand Canyon. "OOOhhhh, look Honey - we just drove 4 hours through the sweltering desert heat with are kids fighting in the backseat to LOOK AT A REALLY BIG HOLE IN THE GROUND FOR 10 WHOLE MINUTES!!!" It would be awesome if somebody bombed this thing, but then it would probably just become a "Grander" Canyon, since it would be just that much bigger of a hole to gawk at).

However, fate would lead me to marry a man raised in the backwoods of Northern Michigan. If you've ever been to Northern Michigan the primary activities available to you are: drinkin' beers underage eh, drinkin' beers of age yah, choppin' wood, riding your 4-wheeler, and lookin' at dah nature. Due to this fact, about every 3 months or so, Rory starts clamoring that it's time for us to "go hiking" (but I'd like to point out that in 4 and 1/2 years of marriage, I've only had to camp once, so ha ha). Well folks, today was that day.

We went to Red River Gorge in Eastern Kentucky, about 2 hours driving from Louisville. This park is famous for it's natural arch formations like the one shown above. We did a little less than a 5 mile hike in 35 degree weather. And now for a visual representation of what each of us brought to "go hiking":

Rory:

1 giant back pack
1 specially formulated walking stick
8 changes of clothes
3 days worth of food
2 weeks worth of water
1 giant thermos of hot coffee (yum!)
1 first aid kit
Matches
Probably a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica

Nicki:

1 Swiss Army knife
(Also I had chap stick and hand lotion in my coat pocket, but I won't count this since in the case of an emergency all it would do is soothe and heal our cracked and dry skin)

I did find one thing kind of neat on the hike though. At one part we had to cross over this narrow ridge, and the gorge literally fell away in a sheer drop on either side. This is not a great picture, but it looked like this:

My favorite part of the day was when we came home and ate clam chowder for dinner (MMM.... LOVE CLAM CHOWDER!!!). It was a pretty good hike, and here are some more pictures (for those of you that are into the whole nature thing):

Some creepy caves that probably have Deliverance style hillbillies living in them:

More gorge:

Random Gary shot for no good reason:

The End. Happy 2008!!!

Snow Day

2007-12-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

Today, Kentucky is having one of it's uncharacteristic snow days. A snow day here consists of Kentuckians spinning wildly out of control on every highway, because there are three, yes 3, whole snowflakes in the road. I worked this morning, shuffled through an inch of slush to my car, and then proceeded to drive home extremely defensively. My concern was not for my 4 wheel drive Jeep (good Jeep!), but for an entire populace that has about as much snow driving experience as a 15 year old with a learner's permit.

I went to Google images to try to locate a cute picture of a Boston terrier playing in the snow, and instead unearthed this:
It's a Boston terrier skull! Go Internet! Bringing you porn and disturbing pictures since the late eighties! One half of me can't fathom exactly why this image is floating out there in cyberspace, but the other half can admit that I've secretly always wondered what the heck Homer's skull looks like. Personally, I think it looks like a baby skull with fangs.

Rory came home anxious but also excited about his nursing school orientation yesterday. One awesome thing about an anxious Rory is it usually transforms into a compulsively cleaning Rory upon arrival, and that's exactly what happened. After the cleaning cyclone came to an end, we settled in and watched "M", the German movie from 1931 (and yes, it's on the 1001 movies to see before you die list). If you've never seen it, this movie is great. It's in black and white, and in German (with subtitles), which in today's CGI world are already two strikes against it. On the other hand, all the characters smoke so prodigiously, that in some of the office scenes there is a literal cloud hanging in the room.

The movie is about a German child murderer, and the community's lawful AND unlawful attempts to apprehend him. I know it doesn't sound like fun material, but it was a great movie. There's a child abduction scene within the first five minutes, which of course they don't show. Instead they just show the child's balloon floating away, but there is something incredibly bleak and disturbing about the image. Definitely one for your Netflix queue. You can watch the trailer here:

No More Pencils, No More Books...

2007-12-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Until January when next quarter starts. I took my last final yesterday morning, and although grades have not been posted, I feel pretty confident that it was another straight A semester. I went and bought half of my next quarter textbooks, which actually came out to a fairly reasonable $75. However, I still have to buy the other half of the books.

Actually, the start of break doesn't feel much different from being at culinary school. Today, I made my own bread and chicken stock. Rory made himself a big plate of rice krispie treats, and proudly informed me that he had "baked something too". Other than that, I started reading "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver, and tonight I think I am going to watch "Cool Hand Luke" which just came from Netflix. We watched "Shrek 3" and "The Last Kiss" a few nights ago, and although both were disappointing, Rory had a much more vitriolic reaction than I did, which you can read about on his blog.

Other than that, I intend to do a lot of this on my break:

Sleeping that is. Not laying around in our flea-infested yard.

Happy Holidays (Or What I Did Instead Of Studying For Finals)

2007-12-10T17:48:00.000-08:00

Non-Crappy Starring You! eCards on JibJab

Life List Item No. 122 Completed: Try Authentic Thai Cuisine

2007-11-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

Since I have no desire to ever actually visit Thailand, I'm going to count my International Lab's Thai food-making towards this item.

Now before you protest that it's not authentic Thai food unless a Thai makes it, I would argue that A) in lab we are always using imported authentic ingredients (at a great expense to the students), and B) we are almost always using traditional cooking methods (sometimes to the great frustration of the students).

For instance, our Pad Thai resembled the picture on the left (traditional), not the oily red stuff you see in a lot of American Thai restaurants. We had all the different colors of curries, big Thai salads, wontons, black rice pudding, and even made a couple varieties of typical street food.

All in all, I'm a fan. The food was hot, spicy, and exotic. I didn't try anything on the buffet that I didn't like. The other thing that was awesome is that during this cuisine, I think I finally got the hang of testing meat for doneness by touch only. I got to make one of the big Thai salads, and in order to make it I had to grill off a bunch of flank steak. Testing it by touch makes you look more like a pro, instead of running for your thermometer or steak knife. Any how, they all came out perfect medium (still a little squishiness, but mostly resistant).

Life List Item No. 69 Completed: Do Something For A Cause

2007-11-05T16:37:00.000-08:00

That's right. I just finished doing something for a cause. The cause being Kosair Children's Hospital, and the baby wing that Rory works on to be exact.

So here's a little history: every year Kosair holds a charity bake sale event at a major Louisville holiday festival, and the earnings go to support a different floor. This year's floor happened to be the NICU where Rory works. And if there's only one thing I'm good at, it's knowing where to get primo baked goods to put in people's pie holes!!!

So, using my contacts at Sullivan, Kosair will be receiving a nice donation of assorted baked goods from the culinary school, AND also due to my whining, the hospital will be getting a nice donation from the Costco bakery.

Now I know some might read this and say, "But Nicki, cause-doing should be a life long enterprise. You can't just do it once and cross if off your frivolous list!" To those individuals I say fear not. If this experience has taught me anything, it's that people love to receive vast quantities of fattening foods, especially if it's to help babies! Wherever there is a charity that revolves around food based incentives, ladies and gentlemen, I will be there!

Now fly on, super babies!!!

Something Scary In Honor Of Halloween

2007-10-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

I was a child of the 80's, and for some reason my brain has retained a memory of nearly every commercial I viewed during that decade. Some of the best commercials of the 80's were classic anti-drug public service announcements. Everybody remembers "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?" Ohhh, sizzle, sizzle!

But fewer people seem to recall a spot that I have a vivid recollection of. I remember being about 9 or 10 when the ad was run, but more than that, I remember being frightened by it. It's not like I was a chronically scared kid either, as my Dad's patented form of "babysitting" consisted of sitting my brother and I down to watch C.H.U.D. and other horror movies of the same ilk. This particular PSA is actually scary, probably because the costume is really good. The spot consists of a drug dealer metamorphing into a scary humanoid snakeman thingy. See for yourself:

The flicking tongue is a great over-the-top touch. Yesssssssssss!

...Because Updating Your Blog Is A Good Reason To Take Homework Break

2007-10-14T08:38:00.001-07:00

That's right, I should be studying for my Hospitality Management test right now, but the material is remarkably boring. So here's your daily dose of Gary!!!:

Gary is holding his favorite mammal, Wheezy, the cat.

My mom now has a blog (so far it is Gary-free, you'll have to stay here for you fix). The link has been added to the link list.

The Dig It List*: Korean food (yummy AND healthy), "Hold On Tight" by Electric Light Orchestra (yes, I realize it's old and in a commercial now, but I like the message: hold on tight to your dreams, ya'll!), reruns of "American Gladiators" (because people getting clobbered with giant Nerf boulders is still as poignant as it was twenty years ago). *Because I dig it!

Life List Item No. 90 Completed: Have A Paranormal Experience

2007-10-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

Rory and I just got home from a night tour of the abandoned Waverly Hills Sanitarium, reputedly one of the most haunted locations in the U.S.

I'll admit I had high expectations for this life list item. The results were a little disappointing though, as I did not get to see a Sasquatch, aliens, or the Loch Ness monster.

Waverly Hills Sanitarium (for those who don't know) is a former tuberculosis hospital in Louisville, that was abandoned for 40 years. The new owners now run historical and paranormal tours through the place, and as they repeatedly pointed out: 63,000 tuberculosis patients died at Waverly Hills. Hence some people believe there are ghosts there.

Yes I did see some funny shadows in the building, but it seemed a lot more likely that they were natural events and not tuberculosis patient spirits. Another thing that marred my experience is the fact that GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL!!! I guess you engineer once, and approach everything like a scientist for life. So this will probably be the closest I ever get to the paranormal, thus off the list it goes.

Also, the tour was not scary, despite however many incidental stories the tour guide laid on us. Our chances of ghost sightings were also hampered by a gaggle of 14 year old girls who kept repeating "Like, oh my God, I'm like, SOOO scared!". Ghosts, like myself, hate it when people keep repeating information that is obvious to everyone, especially if it is stated in a shrill pre-pubescent octave.

The body chute was pretty neat. It's a roughly 5oo foot tunnel that goes downhill from the building. Corpses were discretely wheeled out of the building using the chute. The chute goes down on about a 45 degree angle, so the walk back up is tough. Back in the day, there was even a cable system in place, for more efficient shunting of bodies down the chute.

There used to be a hospital out building at the end of the chute; today there is only a grassy knoll. This of course led the gaggle to (loudly) repeat, "So, like, they just piled the bodies up out here?!?"

All in all, an interesting experience, but it didn't change my life. So, like, here are some more pictures, like, you know?

P.S. Shout out to Grandma G and Mom who are spending the week in Texas together.

The Proper Care And Feeding of a Gary

2007-10-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

Apparently my last post ignited a firestorm of debate amongst my native Louisville contingent of regular blog readers (yes, all 4 of them). Many hours were wasted asking the fundamental questions: "Who is this hairy-armed enigma called Gary?", "Does Gary mean us harm?", and "Should we start a preemptive war with Gary, if it means we'll get cheaper prices at the pumps?".

I intend to answer this question.

Louisville, brace yourself:

I'm like the Dian Fossey of Gary's. I have a dad Gary, a father-in-law Gary, a best friend with a dad named Gary, a former roommate with a dad Gary, a co-worker named Gary, AND I have driven through Gary, Indiana. From my studies, all I can tell you is the following: Gary's are gentle by nature, but they can become agitated and aggressive when startled (for further evidence, see Gary Busey). If a Gary begins to charge at you, grab some large branches and begin waving them and making loud noises. This will make you look larger, and Gary's are not inclined to attack animals that they perceive to be larger than themselves.

DON'T DRINK AND BLOG!!!

2007-09-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

This fake headline comes to you courtesy of the Onion, and I can't stop laughing at it:

Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

Me and Rory's anniversary recap: We had dinner at Red Star Tavern (part of 4th Street Live! for any of you natives that view this blog): The food was great (I would describe it as upscale comfort food), the weather finally comfortable, and the people watching was superb from our patio seats. Unfortunately we had to come home early, so that I could do homework, as we both have a pretty rigorous school schedule this semester.

P.S. Mom - the stationary came via UPS when we got home from dinner. It is very cute, but we keep laughing about how Dad's lap is in the background behind the dog's head's (I initially accused Rory of having the lap in question). Of course somebody has to hold their collars to get them to 'smile' for the camera, but I keep envisioning this senario....

Dear Barbara,

Thanks for inviting us to the lovely dinner party. Please except this card with my two little dogs on it... as well as my Dad's lap.

Leave it to a GARY to ruin a picture!!!

2007-09-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

2007-09-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

The Mission Statement of This Blog

2007-09-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have a fixation with lists. I have grocery lists, lists of books I want to read, lists of movies to watch, lists of financial goals, lists of things to do, lists of things to do to the house, lists ad infinitum. If it can be quantified, chances are, there is a list.

Then there is THE LIST.

THE LIST is a running tally of things I wish to accomplish prior to taking my eternal dirt nap. Some of the items are profound; others are totally stupid. This blog has the primary function of informing our friends and family members of what we are doing in Kentucky (besides playing banjos on our front porch while main-lining bourbon), but secondarily it will chronicle items from THE LIST being accomplished. So without further ado, here is THE LIST (red items have been accomplished, greens are in progress):

THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE Percentage of list completed = 25%

1) Create a web page
2) Get married (again) at the drive-thru in Vegas
3) Bet $100 on black at the roulette table in Vegas
4) Find my soul mate
5) Climb Kilimanjaro
6) Go on an African safari
7) Shuck oysters
8) Visit London
9) Live in the Caribbean or the Mediterranean
10) Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef and Coral Sea
11) Visit Machu Pichu
12) Try caviar
13) Try grasshoppers in Mexico
14) Visit San Francisco
15) Drive down the pacific highway in a convertible
16) Surf in the Pacific Ocean
17) Interview a dietician and a college instructor, figure out what the hell to do for the rest of my life
18) Drink less Diet Coke!!! (I’m down to one glass a day)
19) Visit Portugal
20) Learn to sail a boat
21) Pay off the mortgage
22) Visit Sedlec Ossuary (Church of All Saints) in the Czech Republic
23) Bungee jump
24) Visit Rome
25) Run a small business
26) Eat less salt
27) Practice a religion
28) Attend Edinburgh Festival
29) Dance on top of the bar (Chicago, circa my Michigan State days)
30) Attend St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin Ireland
31) Try truffles
32) Visit Aquitaine, France
33) Attend Octoberfest in Munich, Germany
34) Tour historic Greece
35) Visit Budapest, Hungary
36) Run a marathon
37) Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia
38) See the pyramids in Egypt
39) Dive in the Red Sea, Sinai, Egypt
40) Eat ostrich (it tastes like steak)
41) See the Forbidden City and the Great Wall in Beijing, China
42) Climb Mt. Fuji, then sit in a Japanese thermal spring
43) Visit Istanbul Turkey and the Roman ruins of Ephesus
44) Try foie gras
45) Lay on the beach with a tropical drink in Fiji
46) Visit Bora Bora and French Polynesia
47) Take an Alaskan cruise
48) Eat at Chez Panisse in Berkeley, California
49) Drink wine in Napa
50) Attend a live taping of the Jerry Springer Show
51) Eat at Charlie Trotter’s in Chicago, IL
52) AND at the Superdawg in Chicago, IL
53) Visit NYC
54) Visit Roswell and the Anasazi ruins in New Mexico
55) Visit all the tourist traps on the Canadian side of Niagra Falls
56) See the Mayan ruins in Yucatan, Mexico
57) Attend Carnaval in Rio De Janerio
58) Visit Torres Del Paine National Park in Patagonia, Chile
59) Get my PE license
60) Dive with dolphins and see the shark rodeo in the Bahamas
61) Eat real jerk in Jamaica
62) Attend Sundance film festival
63) Attend one major sporting event (i.e. Superbowl, Olympics, KY Derby)
64) Send a message in a bottle
65) Write a book, even if it isn’t the Great American Novel
66) Have a personal mission statement, and revise it occasionally
67) See an eclipse
68) Spend New Year’s Eve in some place exotic
69) Do something for a cause
70) Learn to scuba dive
71) Find a job you love
72) Donate money and put your name on something, i.e. a scholarship, a bench in the park
73) Learn how to change a tire
74) Kiss the Blarney stone
75) Learn how to work the grill
76) Be able to handle: tax forms, Jehovah’s Witnesses, criticism
77) Keep regular medical appointments
78) Restore a classic car OR build a boat
79) Own an autograph of a certified celebrity (Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, on the same photo)
80) Learn to ride a motorcycle, or hell, even a moped
81) Go to bartender’s school
82) Learn 3 great card tricks
83) Learn 3 great jokes
84) Learn how to hand toss pizza dough
85) Have enough money to do everything on the list
86) Drink more water
87) Expand my social circle
88) Have a Plan B
89) Establish a daily creative ritual
90) Have a paranormal experience
91) Have a conspiracy theory
92) By a round for everyone in the bar
93) Bet on a winning horse
94) Eat fried green tomatos
95) Own something by Coach
96) Own something from Tiffany’s
97) Learn enough of the language of whatever country you’re visiting to not make a total fool of yourself
98) Own a pug or a bull dog
99) Own a boston terrier (the two terrible terriers!!!)
100) Learn how to apply makeup
101) Do something with my hair
102) Pray
103) Know how to make (at least) a three-tiered wedding cake (in progress)
104) Learn a martial art
105) Learn a dance
106) Ride a mechanical bull
107) Write a fan letter to a favorite celebrity
108) Go to a lobster bake in Maine
109) Go to a drive-in
110) Attend one really huge rock festival
111) Attend 5 big concerts in one week (it was U2, Oasis, Dave Matthews Band, the Black Crowes, and Wilco and yes, it was a hell of a week)!!!
112) Learn to play a musical instrument
113) Get hypnotized
114) Learn to fire a gun
115) Make my own bread (without using a bread machine)
116) Go lobster hunting (it’s a scuba diving thing for those who are wondering)
117) Experience weightlessness (technically you experience moments of weightlessness on the Magnum XL at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio – It counts!!!)
118) Give up television and the internet for one week
119) Yell “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!” in a crowd
120) Get my master’s (in progress)
121) Eat alligator (it tastes like chicken)
122) Try authentic Thai cuisine
123) Read all the books from “The 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die” (in progress)
124) See all the movies from “The 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die” (in progress)

Our story thus far...

2007-09-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... somebody's already used this opening.

Last year, in Michigan, I was working as a frustrated civil engineer for a large corporate entity, and my husband was a civil technician for the same afore mentioned entity. We knew we were unhappy; we knew we had to move some where new, some where that we could develop our intellectual passions into new careers.

We moved to where scholars have been migrating to for centuries: Louisville, KY.

So now, my husband is a nursing student at U of L and a nurse's aide at Kosair's Children's Hospital. I am a culinary student at Sullivan University and working toward's my master's in Nutrition (Dietetics, technically) through U of K. I want to know as much about food as possible, and aspire to teach others about good food, where to get the food, what to do with the food once you have it, how to eat the food sensibly, and what foods you might not be eating enough of. It's very profound, I know, but I never tire of hearing about FOOD!!!

I am sad to report, that the big move from Michigan did not provoke any new intellectual interests in either of the two terrible terriers.

The Cast of Characters

2007-09-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

Our Heroine: It's me, Nicki, the author of this blog (duh). I thought a blog would be a fun way for our family members and friends back in Michigan to see what we're up to down in the Commonwealth.

The Trusty Sidekick: This is my compassionate other-half, listed only as the enigmatic "r.f.baker" on his blog which you can also read on blogger.com. He's my best friend, a great nurse, and damn good looking if I do say so myself.

The Two Terrible Terriers: This intrepid crime fighting duo consists of Lucy aka the Brains, and Homer aka the Brawn. This photo also demonstrates what Boston Terriers do with approximately 75% of their day. Barking at the neighbors through the fence must take a tremendous amount of energy.